When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize