literally had 100 drinks last night.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Randomize
