You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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