you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize