nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
