I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
