I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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