You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Randomize
