she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
