NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
