I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
