i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
