On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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