dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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