i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
