I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
