break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
