Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
