he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
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