READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
