I need help removing her.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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