i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
