Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
