I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
