I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
