Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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