I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
