butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
We had sex on a dog bed..
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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