I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
