Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
