He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
