She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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