The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
