Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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