Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
try to milk me bitch
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
