I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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