someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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