She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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