"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
