I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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