There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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