hotel room ftw
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
she smelled like a LAN party
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
