Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
