Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
