I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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