you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Randomize