dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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