It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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