he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
