6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
