YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
