i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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