We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
