Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize