i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
