Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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