Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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