I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
