Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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