Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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