No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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