I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My dick has a subreddit
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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